30 Myths About 'Real' Writers

This is the look of someone who believes in you so much

that she doesn't even care that you don't believe in yourself,

because she knows for certain that in about five minutes' time, you will.

"We should write, above all, because we are writers, whether we call ourselves that or not." - Julia Cameron

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Julia Cameron, the celestial sage-mother behind The Artist’s Way (and all of your cryptic nightmares involving you narrowly escaping the editorial staff of The New Yorker impaling you with a flaming letter-opener), focused her consolatory wisdom on the writing process in 2014 with The Right to Write. Bless her.

Here she combines memoir and musings (and on the craft to examine once more the peculiar hindrances to self-expression which occasionally – and for some of us, chronically – stall our artistic flow.

Impossible Ideals

You know when you’re explaining to someone all the ways in which capitalism is unjust, destructive and totally unnecessary, and they can’t hear a word you’re saying because they don’t have another way of thinking defining themselves or their reality? Yeah, that’s called ideology: a system of myths that propagate the status quo. And as a writer, we do the same thing to propagate our writers blocks.

(Ooh, feel that burn.)

Almost every one of our false beliefs stems from a set of fears about not being a real writer. That is, we’ve erected an impossible ideal of a writer, defined precisely by the perfections we, as humble human beings, lack. The writer’s life is thus lost to us, for - at least in our minds - we are not truly writers at all, but merely posers, impostors and wannabes.

To which I say: Let’s smash this wall one brick at a time.

Myth #1: Real Writing is Hard.

Challenging? Sure. Complex? Absolutely. But is it really that hard?

I mean, c’mon: it’s nothing like the twelve-dimensional chess keeping afloat the careers of cabinet reptiles and raving boars in suits. Language is the innate playground of the humyn mind. Stop trying to make the writing happen, and let it.

Myth #2: Real Writing is Serious.

Lock the door. Put on a suit. Frown at the typewriter for half an hour before you take you first swig of something hard, and cry until the masterpiece materialises.

Pfft! Gimme a break.

Go in there and have some fun! Allow yourself to experiment, indulge and discover. The most revolutionary art happens when you get out of your own way and let the words flow freely.

And nothing feels less like freedom than work.

Myth #3: Real Writing is Calculated and Precise.

Wrong. Mostly it’s a huge mess. An old adage has it that “Writing is Rewriting”.

No dancer expects to perform a perfect pirouette the first time - they expect to practice and hone it over the course of a lifetime. And have you ever watched a painter? Apron soiled, blobs of who knows what all over the plastic floor-cover.

Mess now, clean later.

Myth #4: Real Writing Needs More Time and Space.

Sure, time and space help. But you live and die waiting to have enough time and space to write.

On the train, in the queue, on the fucken toilet, who cares! Pop in your headphones, whip out your notebook and fly like the wind.

Myth #5: Real Writing is Perfect.

Never. Not a single story.

Zadie Smith herself speaks of frantically editing a passage of writing from her own book - long published, awarded and widely read - before reading it aloud to an audience (who, undoubtedly, has already read the book at least once).

A work is never perfect anyway, so there’s no sense in avoiding rough edges and skew lines. The madness is the masterpiece.

Myth #6: Real Writers are Rich and Famous.

Kafka wasn’t. Orwell wasn’t. John Keats sure as hell wasn’t.

Most writers are working people with a little education and a lot of inspiration. And the household names of today? They certainly didn’t start that way.

Myth #7: Real Writers are Fearless.

False. They’re petrified.

What comes after this scene? How do I write this description? What if this totally bombs? How will I live up to my past success?

Writers are people, and people experience fear. Even if it’s just a teeny weeny voice in their heads, it’s there. Fear is universal and inescapable.

But we write anyway. Because it’s who we are, and because there’s more love in writing than there is fear in not writing.

Myth #8: Real Writers Get Paid.

Sometimes. Not always. Especially not in the beginning. And sometimes, you can’t sell a manuscript. So what? That’s the nature of the market!

How many writers send a million and one submissions to receive a million rejections and one offer? Ever heard of Dr Seuss? Huh? George Lucas? J. K. Rowling?

Just write. When your piece is written, show it around. If no one bites, keep sending it around, while starting on the next piece. Repeat.

In time you will be paid. But all the time you will be writing. Win-win.

Myth #9: Real Writing Makes Life Tough.

Broken homes. Toxic romances. Debts, drugs and demonic ducks!

While the fable of the depressed artist haunts all of us, many artists live the opposite: creative satisfaction, flourishing relationships (at least as much as anyone else’s), material security and inner peace.

Don’t turn your writing into a spook. It’s a life calling, not a court summons.

Myth #10: Real Writing is a Choice.

I mean, sure. We all have to choose to accept the calling when we feel it. And yeah, taking the steps to put the words down each day? That’s a choice, I guess.

But writing’s deeper than that. It’s a volcanic force of inspiration, a gust of energy that animates our every cell. It’s catatonic, curious, chaotic.

It chooses us, as much as we choose it. All we have to do is listen.

Myth #11: Real Writing Happens in the Right Mood.

Sometimes. But writing also happens when you find the mood in the moment. Use a playlist of songs relevant to your story, read some research related to your article, or try your hand at a short creative exercise to loosen the flow.

Don’t wait for the mood to arrive. Go out there and find the writing mind.

Myth #12: Real Writers are Chaotic Emotional Wrecks.

Actually, they’re pretty normal. (If you excuse, like, weeping violently when fictional characters fictionally die, in books, which are made-up, that is.)

For reals, writers aren’t more or less stressed, traumatised, petty or ignorant than most people. We’re about the same, besides, you know, being inordinately quiet and private.

Myth #13: Real Writing is a Strictly Mental Activity.

Well, Zadie smith used to dance, and David Foster Wallace nearly took up professional tennis. Heck, my old lecturer still lifts weights every day!

Most writers rely a fair amount of long walks to allow their minds to wander, unencumbered by the nuisance of our inner problem-solvers. Other than that, you can catch us running and swimming, on the yoga mat and at the punching bag.

No matter how lost in thought we find ourselves, any writer can tell you the importance of exercise - especially Grandmomma Atwood, whose most famous contributions to contemporary culture have not only been spitting feminist bars the size of trilogies, but regularly insisting on good desk posture.

(That’s right, comrade. Straighten up.)

Myth #14: Real Writers Focus on their Goals.

Just as often, we stumble upon projects like the pilot of a starship emerging from a wormhole in the wrong system. “Whoa! The hell?”

Don’t get caught up in trying to get the piece done. Allow yourself to explore it, and let it end when it’s ready. Let your deadline provide you with the boundaries to hold your concentration in place; it’s not their to scare off your curiosity.

Myth #15: Real Writers are Austere Workaholics.

Writing does tend to require a level of commitment, especially at the beginning when we’re transitioning to a lifestyle that still feels somewhat alien to those around us.

But the truth is we’re full of nonsense, and our lives abound with fascination. Everyday matters, from grocery shopping to answering emails, add to a gorgeous richness of experience that infuses ordinary life with a literary momentousness. Who knows where inspiration could be hiding next?

Myth #16: Real Writing is Intentional.

To the extent that we intend to sit down and write, yeah. Writing’s intentional. But the hell if I’m going to take any responsibility for the shit that comes out on that page. You think I choose to write a story? I swear to god, I have no idea how that happened.

Myth #17: Real Writers Painstakingly Research.

Meh. If they’re looking for inspiration, they may dive into a few documentaries, maybe browse through a library. And you can bet that historical fiction will have us on the phone with a professor or on the bus to a museum.

But research can be as much a hindrance as a help. The truth is, fiction doesn’t require that many facts to make itself felt. Stories, poetry and literature in general is an art; don’t confuse it for a science.

We deal in empathy, imagination and moral passion. Intelligence helps, for sure. But information? A skeleton at most, but usually: icing on the cake.

Myth #18: Real Writing Leads to Long Blocks.

A creative block is a state of self-imprisonment. You escape it by writing. And that’s real. It happens when we’re scared to experiment, play and trust the creative process.

Just, whatever you do, don’t look for reasons to scare yourself out of writing because you feel that’s what the pros do. Believe me: they don’t.

Stop forcing the writing out like a rough shit, and let it surge within you by nurturing it with inspiration. Give it time, space and curiosity, and it will write itself.

Myth #19: Real Writing is Lonely.

Nope. Sitting down at a laptop is solitary, sure. But you still get to have dinner dates, catch-up calls and - yeah, you can’t weasel out of them - family gatherings.

Moreover, most writing puts you in touch with editors, proofreaders, publishers, cover artists, contemporaries, critics, readers, and all sorts of other people. You can appear at conventions, lecture at universities, host workshops at community centres - not to mention live-broadcast interviews.

People are everywhere. (Run!)

Myth #20: Real Writers are More Disciplined.

Wanna deepen your commitment to creative engagement?

Set an alarm clock with reminders, so you don’t rely on your porous memory. Mark out days and times on you calendar. Keep a notebook at all times. Use apps like Toggl to track your hours, Forest to maintain focus and Habit Loop to build consistency. Set daily minimum word count goals for your writing, and minimum chapters for your reading. Take cold showers and meditate to build the ability to find peace in discomfort. Keep all your goals a secret, but share your progress with a friend in a weekly progress report. Build resilience by asking strangers to take out their financial woes by clubbing you with a wiffle bat or whatever!

There are a million ways to build discipline. And believe me, they are no more accessible to you than they are to David Mitchell.

Myth #21: Real Writing is an Escape from Life.

On the contrary: it is a strategy for immersing oneself in life.

People become more complex and detailed; culture mutates into a realm of alien suppositions and marvellous occasions. History, science, the creative arts; every friendship and romance and trauma - it all falls under the writer’s microscope.

Writing is what writers do to fully inhabit reality. It’s our way of digesting existence, not escaping it.

Myth #22: Real Writing Replaces Living.

If only!

Writers, like everyone else, don’t get to opt out of living any better than the next alienated labourer. We fall in love, we loathe our jobs, waste away in traffic and eat leftovers from tupperware. We file our tax returns, go on vacation, and put out the garbage on the wrong day. We forget Father’s Day every year. Just like everybody else.

Writing adds to life. It doesn’t subtract, and it doesn’t substitute.

Myth #23: Real Writers Requires Rituals.

Well, it helps. But we’re not special for it. Everyone relies on rituals: bakers, athletes, soldiers, teachers. Pretty much anyone you can name. Okay, except the 1%. They just rely on wage slavery.

Point is: you can haul out a notebook and put down words. People have written books in warzones, prisons and in the small moments between every conceivable obligation.

Don’t wait for rituals.

Myth #24: Real Writers are Doomed.

We’re all gonna die. Get over it.

You don’t have to be a martyr for the Literature Lords. And you don’t have to sell your soul for the Landlords.

Writers are blessed with the power to enjoy language, and the curiosity to wield it. We only get so much time in this world, so we might as well use it.

Myth #25: Real Writers Have Credentials.

I mean, I’ve read decorated, widely published authors whose writings are simply tedious. It doesn’t matter what degrees, awards, fellowships, residencies or advances you’ve received. Writing means sitting down to create every day. That’s all that’s real to me.

Myth #26: Real Writers Resent Everything.

There’s a scathing critic in all of us, and writers have a unique propensity for expressing all that venom with a venerable vocabulary.

Let’s face it: we do intensity really, really well. Like, we can stew a broth of verbiage so hot it you can boil in it everything from gods to governments.

But we also delight in the little things. We see the world through a lens of wonderment, a quiet passion for every quotidian gem.

You needn’t retreat into callous knot of hate. You could just as easily metamorphose into an all-cherishing sugar-coated butterfly of intergalactic effervescence!

Myth #27: Real Writers Have Exceptional Talent.

One supposes. Of course, most of the writers we suppose have innate genius also have MFAs.

In other words, they put in the time. And they don’t just arrive in a program. They start writing as children or teens, and no matter how cringily melodramatic their characters or how overwrought their prose, they keep on going.

Let the love lead the way. We don’t get to pick our talents, but we do choose whether or not to practise.

Myth #28: Real Writers Separate Their Writing from Their Personal Lives

Weirdly not. You’d think we would, but we don’t. Or rather, we can’t.

You see, everything from your upbringing to your peculiar fetish for Santa Claus emerges in the writing. Your worldview, your family history, your taste in footwear: your writing sprouts from all these seeds.

Be honest when you write. Dig deeper, reach further. You won’t move anyone - or satisfy yourself - by playing it safe. Words are radical; set the world on fire.

Just keep the gap between your literary and personal realms big enough to leave your poor relatives unscathed. Mostly.

Myth #29: Real Writing is “For the Market”

You’ve been reading too much James Scott Bell, haven’t you?

Try writing for the market and you’ll flop like a pancake. Write only for yourself and you may be undermining the quality of your piece by ignoring a) the logistics of professionalism (i.e. submitting your shit with a proper cover letter and checking you damn emails), b) the power of serious editing with a respectable reader in mind, and c) the worth of your writing to the readers of the world. Your work is an indulgence, but it’s also sizzling hot, existential inspiration juice.

Look, if you wanna get rich off your writing, good luck. But if you want to make a living writing, then get your Venn diagram in order: what you want to write meets what people want to read.

It’s not “either-or”. Write golden goodness every day, then find the readers who’ll pay for it.

Myth #30: Real Writers Live in an Ivory Tower

Writing is living. You do it every day, even when it kinda sucks.

Some people are well-known for it, others are not. Some are paid for it, some aren’t. But one thing we all have in common is that our interest in writing transcends any narrow institutionally entrenched status or prestige.

A writer is not their accolades, their publishing history, or their readership. A writer is simply a person who writes. And by Jove, Real Writers are not made by other people deciding who is and who isn’t. Writers decide for ourselves. And we do that by sitting down and letting the words meet the world.

The Truth

Like the imaginary world which the 1% pretend we inhabit, the Real Writer does not exist. It never has, and it never will. It’s an illusion that keeps us from embracing our own artistic energy – and our agency to create.

Wanna see a real writer? A really real writer?

Take a look in the mirror. Now go and write already, sheesh.

PS: You can do it.

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Well, isn't that nice to know?

If this helped, why not say so in a comment? Alternatively, drop me a letter at nicholasadawn.author@gmail.com.